"I'm late, I'm late for
A very important date.
No time to say hello, good-bye,
I'm late, I'm late, I'm late" - The White Rabbit from "Alice in Wonderland"

August 2023 was a weird one grieving projects, the anniversary of my Grandmother and Father's deaths, it was summer and I hate summer and then it ended with me having my first bout of COVID-19. Which then spread to one of my roommates all on the weekend of our third roommates 40th birthday party. This meant she had to cancel because she cares about people and had been exposed (although praise God she didn't get sick).  I mean, I really could have lit that month on fire and sent its behind down the river because of how poorly it ended. I still don't understand what was going on with that month, but it's over now and I hope not to repeat it at any point...ever.
Because Miss Rona ruined our roommate's event, I concocted a plan to celebrate her birthday, albeit belatedly at the next weekend she had available. Due to her schedule that meant October. 
I told her to invite four of her closest friends and I would throw her a tea party at our apartment. I shared several photos from that event and a bunch of folks said they'd love to have the recipes, so here they are with my anecdotal notes and the usual storytelling.

My roommates favorite color is purple, so you'll see a lot of that throughout the pictures. 
One thing I want you to imagine as you read through this is, my roommates (including the birthday girl) decorating during my second night of cooking and assembling. The later it got the more punch drunk we got and laughing for no reason is our go to. It is a miracle everything went as great as it did. 

First up were the scones. I made them first, two days before the event in case they didn't come out and I had to buy some instead. When they came out of the oven, I was extremely proud of them. If you don't like them, keep it to yourself. LOL!! 

Yes, these are mine! No, this photo does not do them justice! 
Here's the recipe for Soft Scones 

Adjustments to my version: 
Girl, the way I HATE buying that quart of buttermilk that ALWAYS goes to waste because I bake with it once or twice a year. So, instead I make it with a cup of milk (usually non-dairy but it doesn't have to be) and a tablespoon of lemon juice or apple cider vinegar. Then I let that mixture sit for 5-10 minutes while I fix my other ingredients. You can adjust the ratios based on how much buttermilk you need in your other recipes that call for it. This little hack I found on these interwebs has not failed me yet. 

I also did not put any crunchy sugar on top because why? They are literally called soft scones, but then I'm going to ruin it by making them crunchy with sugar no one asked for on top?  Y'all know what I'm saying? Senseless. 

Next up is Mock Clotted Cream. Why mock clotted cream you may ask? Listen, go google a real clotted cream recipe and see how long it takes. I do not have eight to twelve hours to sit over a stove or crock pot scraping skim off the top of milk and what have you, girl I have job, friends, I'm on a board of directors. Ain't nobody got time for that. Also, this recipe tastes very good! 


The picture on the left has: Masker Orchards Pumpkin Butter (bought at the apple orchard I go to every fall), Lemon Curd (store-bought), Apple Butter (homemade) & Mock Clotted Cream (homemade). 

The first time I made this "clotted cream" was many moons ago, but I remembered the mascarpone cheese. Ooooo girl! It's good. 

    Yes, I picked the apples with my own two hands from trees in an orchard. You don't have to be that extra but I am. That was my Ina Garten moment. 
   And just let me be frank with you, this recipe is here for your sake. Because I do not agree with the lack of spices in her recipe. I put all of the fall spices in mine; nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, allspice, cloves. And yes, I know essentially that allspice is called that because it has all of the spices but folks out here seem to be afraid of adding flavor to their food and you all really need to be released from that oppression. Get free and add some flavor to y'alls food. 
I have also switched up my sugar to include coconut sugar instead of brown sugar, but I did use demerara with the coconut sugar this year. 
And since I am my Grandmother Florence's Granddaughter and my Aunt Ethel's niece, I have no measurements for my version, I just eyeball it. So here's a recipe for you to follow if that's what you need to feel safe but I beg you to add more spices than what this woman is doing. Please for the love of all that is good and yummy! 

My favorite sandwich to have at a proper tea is a cucumber sandwich. Now, the sandwiches are where things went a bit off the rails because I definitely did not choose the right bread. Choosing sourdough was a poor life decision because if you're doing it right, you are cutting your sandwiches into traditional tea sandwich shapes and sourdough is just not about that life so cutting them was a struggle. I've learned my lesson for next time. Thanks be to God mine held together and no one knew of my trials and tribulations. They looked cute, which is really all that matters in the end. 

For the cucumber sandwich filling I used three ingredients:
1. Seedless Cucumbers thinly sliced
2. 3oz Herbed goat cheese
3. 4oz Cream cheese 
I mixed the goat cheese and cream cheese together adding more spices and then spread it on the bread. Then I placed the thinly sliced cucumbers on top to make a sandwich. These I then took off the crust and cut into stick shapes. 

And what is a tea party without chicken salad sandwiches?  See now, I'm not really for regular chicken salad (unless my family in NC makes it). I love to have pecans (or almonds), craisins (or grapes), curry and celery in mine. Also, I do not love mayo so I use plain yogurt in it. For this tea party that was my version of Coronation Chicken Salad because my roommate also does not love mayo. But like I said, for mine there are no measurements, I eye-balled it. If you desperately need a recipe, then go on Chatgbt.

Who wants to come to a party with no dessert? Maybe you know somebody, but I'm not friends with them and neither are my roommates so we had dessert. 
And since the Birthday girl loves chocolate I made an easy and quick chocolate mousse. Another recipe I have made before and was a hit. Again, many many moons ago. 
This recipe has two ingredients y'all! If you mess this up, you need to just quick cooking because I really don't know what to tell you. Order out, hire help, something. It's only two ingredients. 

A staple that was taught to me over fifteen years ago are chocolate chip cream cheese cookies. One of my friends was kind enough to share it with me all those years ago and we baked my first batch together. I find them to be more addictive then regular chocolate chip cookies. I believe these are a family recipe of hers so I always title them with her name, except that she doesn't know y'all and I'm not giving her full name on these interwebs. 

Laura L's Cream Cheese Chocolate Chip Cookies
Ingredients:
1 Cup Shortening
1 Cup Sugar
1 Teaspoon Vanilla
8 oz. softened cream cheese
2 eggs
2 Cups Flour
1 Teaspoon Salt
1-12 oz. package semi-sweet chocolate chips

Directions: 
Mix together shortening, sugar, vanila cream cheese and eggs.  Then add Flour and salt and mix.  Then add chocolate chips.
 
Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.


Since we had some gluten free folks I went to one of my favorite bakeries in the city called By The Way Bakery. They are gluten free and dairy free which comes in handy because I have friends with dietary restrictions and had two of my birthday cakes from here so those friends could partake. 
For this event I wanted a decent bread and I was just not going to do Udi's. I know some of y'all like it but this is a special occasion and I just wasn't doing it. 
I also purchased their scones and desserts from By The Way because we are not a GF household and cross contamination when baking scares me. I'm not having folks come to my house to get sick. It's also just about community care. A phrase one of my friends came up with that I wish we focused on more in this country, but alas that conversation is for my other blogs. 

And since it is a tea party and this roommate and I LOVE Anne of Green Gables, I had to make raspberry cordial. You cannot have a tea party without at least one reference if you love Anne. We watched Anne with an E together and loved it. We also love the ones with Megan Follow
s, but there is room in our hearts for both. And I'm going to tell some of y'all right now, I will not tolerate any slander for either of these iterations anywhere near me. Anne of Green Gables Raspberry Cordial

The last recipe I'll share I actually promised folks in 2022. It's for the apple butter spice cake I made a week later for my roommate to take to her Mother in Connecticut. I had also made it in the fall of 2022 for the first time to share with my film co-creators. Both times I made it with the homemade apple butter.
November 2022 Dear Brutus Pre-Production Meeting



You might be wondering, wasn't this a birthday party? Where is the birthday cake? Do you think, I made everything I just told you about, purchased all the decorations, ran all the errands needed to make this day happen and still baked a birthday cake? Like I said, I have a full life with boards, podcasts, etc. Your girl just entered her 40s and is getting smarter about knowing her limits. Old me would've also tried to do this. New me is like girl, let people help you and stop doing too much. So, I purchased cupcakes from By The Way Bakery which also meant our gluten free folks could enjoy them without worrying. 


In conclusion, there are a few takeaways I hope everyone who chooses to read this leaves with besides just the recipes. Firstly, you don't need to do everything to make a great event. Know your limits so you're not in the kitchen still cooking or cleaning up when people arrive. It's the worst when you can't actually relax and be with the people you invited to your home to be with.  Secondly, to avoid said scenario, LET PEOPLE HELP YOU! If you need to order a few things, DO IT! No one is going to judge you and if they do, I would seriously rethink that friendship. And finally, if things don't go perfectly, it's okay. Life is messy and crap happens. You're not a failure, you're just human and so is everyone you're with. 

Well, that's it from me. Doing this event was super fun and I had been struggling with cooking and baking for a while because it brought up a lot of grief from me losing my Mom and Grandmother who taught me how to cook and bake. So to those of you struggling with grief, just know that it takes the time it takes. It's not a linear process it is cyclical, so make sure you are with folks who can support you through all the moments. 



More photos from the event for your enjoyment!